Analysis And Headlines

Wednesday's Three Burning Legal Questions Here are today's three burning legal questions, along with the answers provided by the blogosphere. 1) Question: I work for the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and we're trying to warn motorists against distracted driving on Distraction.gov. Do you think we should add a section about not driving while simultaneously shaving your "bikini area?" Answer: Yes. Please do that. (KeysNews.com, FHP: Driver Lacked Razor-Sharp Focus) 2) Question: I'm a Kentucky state politician. Every time we swear someone into state office we are forced to administer an outdated oath that says the person has never fought or otherwise participated in a duel with deadly weapons. Then everyone starts laughing and the whole moment is ruined. What can we do about this? Answer: You can introduce legislation for consideration by the Kentucky General Assembly that would delete the “dueling clause” from the oath. Worth a try! (Kentucky Public Radio, In Depth: Lawmaker Wants To Remove “Dueling Clause” From Oath) (via Lowering the Bar) 3) Question: I just telephoned the government's "Department for Work and Pensions" to file a claim, and got the strangest recorded greeting. What is going on over there? Answer: Sometimes the Department for Work and Pensions in the U.K....

Judge Carton Rules: Four-Digit Prison Sentences and One-Named 'Milk-o-holics' Welcome back to Judge Carton Rules, where a fake judge issues rulings to spare the parties to cases in which the outcome is obvious the time and expense of further litigation. Here is today's docket: Case 1: In the awesome commercial below, the toddler girlfriend of the E-Trade baby demands to know if "that milk-o-holic Lindsay was over" at her boyfriend's house. Lindsay "You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Commercial Is About You" Lohan says that she “has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna,” and as such, the ad has misappropriated her "name and characterization.” She's asking for $100 million. Judge Carton's ruling: Bwaaaah haaahaaaaahaaaaaa hahhaaaaa!! Wow. Good to laugh like that once in a while. Now get out of my fake courtroom, "Lindsay," and do not return. E-Trade's future Motion to Dismiss is GRANTED. Case 2: On Monday, the Alhambra Superior Court sentenced 35-year old serial bank robber Anthony Richard Cuellar (dubbed the "Mickey Mouse Bandit") to 1,948 years in prison for a nail salon robbery and eight bank heists in 2007. Judge Carton's ruling: Even divided by 10, Cuellar's sentence is still 40-plus years longer than Bernard Madoff's 150-year sentence. Cuellar's future motion to modify...

The 'Four Voices' Lawyers Can Use When Speaking to Reporters One of the reasons lawyers blog is to "get their name out there" as experts in their areas of expertise. With a little luck and persistence, this can lead to calls from reporters asking for a lawyer's take on a particular issue that the reporter is writing about. As lawyers who are newly-involved with reporters quickly learn, however, there are established procedures and ground rules in interviews that are important but not widely understood. Writing on McDermott Will & Emery's Legal Crisis Strategies blog, Lanny Davis and Eileen O'Connor -- who know a thing or two about media strategies -- offer their thoughts on the "four voices" that can be chosen for an interview, and which of them must be agreed to ahead of time by the reporter: 1. “On the record:” speaking with attribution, a name and identification as the lawyer in the case. 2. “On background:” This commonly used term means different things to different people, unfortunately, so it should be defined in advance. LCS writes that the best definition of this is "you can use my quotation, but identify me only as a 'spokesperson' or 'lawyer for' and don’t mention my name.” 3. “Deep background:” Often confused...

The Four People (and Counting) Lawyers Won't Meet in Solo Practice Paul Schorn, a solo practitioner in Texas, has written an interesting article, published in Texas Lawyer, on "The 4 People Lawyers Won't Meet in Solo Practice." Flipping the idea of Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" on its head, Schorn writes that while his solo practice is risky and demanding, he knows that he will never be stuck with the types of big firm people who can drain all the fun out of practicing law. For those of you in BigLaw, see if you recognize any of these soul-sapping characters, as described by Schorn: 1. "Jack the partner" Egomaniac. Narcissist. Takes credit for everything. Belittles and bullies everyone around him. Schorn notes that this type is careful to insulate clients from other lawyers, lest he lose control. 2. "Chad the associate" Friendly back-slapper and suck-up whose true motivation is to keep track of hours billed by those with whom he is competing for partnership. "Gossips like a junior-high cheerleader and never misses a chance to second-guess a peer's bad outcome in the courtroom." 3. "James the office manager" Manages the office "as if it were Yugoslavia circa 1971" with too many forms, arbitrary rules and favoritism. Posts...

I'll Take One with Mustard, Sauerkraut and an Alibi Witness Lawyer advertising the old fashioned way -- sort of -- is alive and well in Houston. Via my biggest fan, Scott Greenfield of Simple Justice, comes this story from the Houston Chronicle about a hot dog vendor selling prime ad space on his golf cart, which he parks right outside the courthouse on a daily basis. Scott opines that, for a criminal defense lawyer, openly proclaiming your availability and willingness to take on a simple case for a bargain basement fee is something to be ashamed of. He also suggests that the vendor, Mark Lynch, might increase revenue by charging extra to recommend a particular advertiser over others, the SEO of the dirty water dog world. If your target client base is the defendant who shows up at the courthouse sans representation and on an empty stomach, though, is there anything wrong with trying to bag a few extra bucks? Personally, I'm suspicious of anyone who sells hot dogs out of a golf cart, rather than the traditional non-motorized bacteria hotel. In any event, Lynch should do all he can to bring in the money now. Once hot dogs are redesigned, sales, of both the dogs themselves and the ad...

Billing On the Go -- Of Course There's an App for That Jeff Richardson at iPhone J.D. has the news that there is now an iPhone billing app, iSlips, that will sync with the popular non-mobile timekeeping program Timeslips. The demo video does make it look like a pretty simple app to use, once you set up your defaults and get your client/matter list downloaded. At least for those of you who are not plagued by fat finger syndrome. Jeff also says many of the timekeeping apps he included in a survey last year have been significantly improved since then. It's been a while since I had to regularly account for my days in six-minute increments, but I suspect that, like Jeff, I would be more inclined to simply wait until I got back to my desk, or at least somewhere with a pencil and piece of paper, to record what I'd been up to. Though I guess there are situations where such a tool might come in handy. How do you technophile lawyers feel: Is a program like this essential? Does it make you more efficient? Anyone have any horror stories about these apps crashing, causing you to resort to the old trick of flipping through a month's worth of e-mails...